This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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