the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize