oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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