I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How external is "for external use only"?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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