What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
