I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
