you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
