Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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