That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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