I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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