i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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