sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
