No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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