meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
honey bunches of taint.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
