My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
