I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
