I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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