I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
