You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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