Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Who wears a wallet chain?!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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