I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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