so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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