Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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