I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
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I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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