So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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