Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
