I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
