I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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