I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
