i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
