So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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