Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
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I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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