i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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