my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
