i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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