i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize