Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
