It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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