Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
