And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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