At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize