i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
