I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize