He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
