at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
