The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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