That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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