so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
