I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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