im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
