dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
