"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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