Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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