I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
